How does a hearing ally go from learning ASL from Deaf people to positions that can control or displace us and take our opportunities away? Even with good intentions, how do they get this power? What behaviors cross the line? And, importantly: where is the line?
The Deaf community is not unique in that we encounter awesome folks who position themselves as someone who will stand with us. By understanding the inequities that exist, allies often use their own privilege to help even the proverbial playing field, sharing awareness, and naturally, providing access—an example for how the larger community can follow suit.
Some hearing allies make it their personal mission to support us and eventually find themselves elevated to power positions among Deaf people. Even with good intentions, this can affect systemic thinking. The larger community notices this and thinks these allies are “saviors” to provide the access and services they contribute.
We don’t need saving.
We do need access, and it can be hard to come by even when laws are in place to facilitate it. So, we really appreciate our allies, who understand what access looks like and help share the right information by modeling it.
But there’s a line. Crossing it can inflict harm, even with the best of intentions.
Why Does this Happen?
I think it’s a combination of things. One is that the larger community seeks to immediately understand what they do not. And if someone has never encountered a Deaf or another disabled person they might look to someone adjacent who is familiar to the Deaf person as well as someone with whom they can communicate easily. This leans into an ally’s “helpful” nature if they possess it.
Hearing people repeatedly return to the ally for information rather than the Deaf or disabled person, which naturally positions the ally to hold the situational power. Power they probably didn’t seek and now find themselves unexpectedly holding. Yep, the big ol’ royal scepter.
It’s how the ally uses their position that ultimately determines where the power will rest.
Graphic by Sound for Light
Harmful Behaviors That Look Like Allyship
In an earlier article, I’ve explained How To Be a Deaf Ally, specifically. They stand beside us, see us as peers and look out for us—the same way we look out for them. Mutual respect and lifting one another up. Fist bump.
Here, I’m naming some “ally-ish” behaviors I see that cross over. Some are harmful, some are a mix. And many might be missed when viewed through hearing eyes.
I also want to note that these behaviors are hard for us Deaf to criticize, because they are almost always carried out with good intentions—I absolutely see that.
But they can and do cause direct and indirect harm both to Deaf people.
Assuming Leadership Positions
If you look through Deaf history, hearing people have long tried to assert themselves as positions of authority over deaf people. For a very long time, deaf people have struggled with language deprivation, the oppression of signed languages, audism, and more. All of these contributed to the larger community’s peripheral belief that deaf people could not be in positions of leadership, even those which left us in charge of our own livelihoods. But, we can.
We should.
We must continue to.
Today, thanks in no small part to the Deaf President Now movement, major Deaf organizations have Deaf leadership. Most other Deaf organizations follow suit.
It’s one way to ensure the Deaf perspective is always represented and has administrative teeth.
But these opportunities are still fought for in some arenas without strong Deaf influences and we depend on our allies to also value this cultural tenet.
Taking Deaf-Centered Employment Opportunities
Hearing Deaf allies sometimes want to work within the Deaf community because they would enjoy it. At the same time, they may not realize the field of choices is markedly narrower for Deaf workers. So, allies may want to consider: if you are qualified for and technically can take an employment opportunity, should you?
While Deaf people can do “anything” in theory, there’s a lot more to factor in when we narrow down where we’d like to work:
- Automatic exclusion from jobs that require certain hearing levels
- Discrimination / time + $ to prove it
- Communication on the job
- Asking for accommodations
- Peerage
Many Deaf professionals establish careers as teachers of Deaf children, ASL teachers, or working within Deaf organizations, all where Deaf representation is critical. Where ASL is not only respected, its fluency is required for the job. Not hearing—ASL! Required. We should be shoo-ins, right?
Ah… not when a hearing person who is also fluent in ASL and has the same (or a little better) education or experience. Employers adhere to HR guidelines, and hiring practices center on someone’s qualifications, not their hearing status. Additionally, a hearing person in that role may be seen as a real asset. During downtime they get tapped to interpret minor interactions or answer phones.
So, if you are hearing and are offered one of these positions because you are qualified and know ASL, consider the wide world of choices you have for employment and consider those of Deaf applicants with your same credentials.
Planning ASL and Deaf Content Without Deaf People’s Involvement
If you’re planning an event, a program or a show where you expect Deaf people to “star in” or be the main draw, a Deaf person should be involved in the planning of it, from the beginning.
It’s like planning the Running of the Bulls, then sending the bulls the itinerary.
Yes, it is absurd. Many times hearing people (with inclusive intentions) come up with a *great idea* for Deaf people but only present it to them when plans are complete. And then if a Deaf person isn’t thrilled with the plan, they’re seen as ungrateful, or maybe they didn’t understand the full concept (see hearing-splaining). Often laden with hearing-centric parameters, perceptions and barriers, it’s a lot to pre-work through in addition to what they’ve actually been asked to participate in.
Including Deaf people in the planning of your Deaf ideas is the way.
Positioning Themselves as an Expert on Deaf People
People have legitimate areas of expertise, even in Deaf-adjacent spaces. Audiologists, interpreters, CODAs all have a lot of experience within the Deaf and hard of hearing community—within their respective lanes. The best practice is to stay in it.
Any time you see or read about a person speaking “about” Deaf people and they are not Deaf, they have placed themselves in a position that takes advantage of their natural position as “the same” as the curious viewer, and thereby allowing them to hold situational authority.
Allies don’t profess to be experts on or need to talk about Deaf people, they simply point to us—the experts on our own lives.
Accepting a Gatekeeper Role
If there’s a hearing person who lives and/or works with or adjacent to the Deaf community, they are seen as a bridge. People contact them any time they need Deaf-related info:
“Can you ask the Deaf community…?”
“What do Deaf people think about…?”
“Can you find us a Deaf person?”
“Would Deaf people like this?”
“Can you explain this to them?”
But the bridge isn’t the destination. People could just go there directly, if they know how. But they have to be told. And it needs to be normalized.
“Don’t ask me. Direct your question to her.”
“I can’t make that decision. Ask him.”
“You should hire a Deaf consultant. Here’s a list.”
“Here’s where you can hire an interpreter.”
“I’m not familiar with their speaking/consultancy fees, but here’s their website.”
And then, normalize removing yourself from the setup. Point n’ go. Hands outta the dough.
By remaining in the equation, it communicates that a hearing “helper” needs to facilitate.
Using Hearing/Speaking Privilege to Control the Situation or Narrative
If a hearing person knows ASL, they will have complete access to both the spoken and signed languages in a situation. If the ally accepts a gatekeeper role, they can become the primary source of information about a Deaf person to hearing people, so the Deaf person is essentially represented through the gatekeeper’s perspective.
This can lead to:
- Using outdated, offensive or incorrect labels to represent Deaf people
- Refusing outside interpreters
- Speaking about Deaf people instead of to us
- Loss of autonomy or civil liberties
So the scope of this ranges from dangerous to just pretty dang rude.
The practical part of this is, hearing people can communicate with their backs to someone or while they’re in another room. Deaf people face each other. If Deaf and hearing people are in a situation and the hearing people are using their privilege to hear or speak over a signed conversation, even to make it faster or more “efficient,” that shifts the power and has the potential to control the narrative—in any situation where we’re outnumbered by hearing folks.
My hearing kids do the rude version periodically when one interjects from another room into a conversation I’m having with the other.
This illustrates the mechanics pretty well.
Me to Child A: “When you finish the ice cream, don’t put the empty carton back in the freezer. Throw it out.”
Child A: “It wasn’t me. It was (Child B).”
Child B: [*faint shrieking from an undiscernible location*]
Child A: Yes, it was! I saw you!
Child B: [*faint shrieking from an undiscernible location*]
Me to the dog: “Glad we got that cleared up.”
Over-Spotlighting
When a friend introduces a Deaf person to a hearing one or a professional recommends a deaf person’s professional services, a person’s deafness may become the main content rather than their personality traits or the service they offer. The latter is most important. Deafness is worth mentioning for communication purposes, but to people meeting a Deaf person for the first time, it can take on an air of “special” highlighting. And this can lead to somewhat inauthentic interactions. Just be real.
Or when an organization provides access to an event they’re hosting, and they want to tell people. Big social posts dedicated to announce, “WE HAVE INTERPRETERS COMING!” along with thanks to interpreting agencies and funders can give an impression that some charity has taken place rather than normalized inclusion that should be planned for. It also announces a Deaf person’s planned attendance who now feels the need to be the model Deaf attendee in the front row (where it’s painfully obvious when we sneak a bite of a candy bar, btw).
Hearing-splaining
If a Deaf person declines something or appears not to understand the reasoning for something (e.g., an asinine stance), it can be simply that the person means no and/or they don’t understand the reasoning for said thing.
Some hearing people think that means we didn’t understand the question itself and need it explained again with great detail from a hearing perspective.
I will tell you that some Deaf people may really appreciate this. I will also tell you that the positive/negative response rate to this would most likely be proportional to that of the rest of humankind and our corresponding levels of age, education levels and crankiness.
Saying “The Deaf”
It could just be me, but this reference annoys the hell out of me. There’s something about sticking a “the” in front of my cultural identity that draws a line in the sand between yourself and another group you find adorable, fascinating, or delicious.
Like… the children, the gorillas, the cheese balls.
“The Deaf” are [dismissive peasant-directional hand-wave] over there.
It’s othering.
Try adding a “the” in front of any other group and see if my lil’ rage-pixie dings yer bell.
So Where’s the Line Between Support and Harm?
Honestly, the line isn’t really mapped out. It’s for our allies to consider whether what they’re doing increases Deaf people’s access and agency or increases their own authority over Deaf people.
Being a hearing person among Deaf folks comes with an extra dimension: you have access to things we don’t simply because you can hear them. This creates an advantage whether you intend to use it or not.
Hearing is a privilege that can open doors for sure. But sometimes the best way to support Deaf people is to step out of the doorway.
When in doubt, ask a Deaf person. Cheers!